Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize