Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
