U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
