Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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