i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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