i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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