he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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