hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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