me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
