I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
