I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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