A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
