idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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