I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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