Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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