Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Bring me that man meat
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
