This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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