your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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