you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
