I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize