Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
