I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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