I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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