I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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