You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
