Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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