Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
