I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize