You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
