I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
