whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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