So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
