it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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