come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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