Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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