Don't you send me to vm
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
