So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
