My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
