i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize