we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
