I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
