That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Randomize
