remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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