You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
