But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
