sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
