I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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