Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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