I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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