Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You're a waste of cheezeits
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
