marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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