if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
