The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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