just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize