O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
