girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
