Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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