next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
