i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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