I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize