He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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